Dancing With Tears in My Eyes
by IcyBlackHandofDeath
Summary: Rima looks at her old life and comes to a conclusion. Sequel to Telephone and Too Young; Semi-songfic for Dancing With Tears in My Eyes by KeSha; One-shot RIMAHIKO


Ah, finally! It's finished! I don't mean this in a bad way, considering this is probably one of my favorite stories right now, but it was also the hardest to write. Tying all the stories up together is so difficult.

On to the acknowledgements.

Thank you so, so, SO much to amutoluver1 for being my first friend here. Even saying that just depresses me. (But that's only because you, my first friend, didn't come until my third story. Ouch.) You convinced me to write a sequel and now look were it's led me. I can't thank you enough. I hope you like this song as much as you liked the other two.

Thank you to To lazy to log in. I hope you're still reading this, and I hope this story is as good as the first one.

Thank you to Maddie. Rimahiko fans unite! Don't worry, you'll get used to the lingo around here. I love Nagi so much, and, yes, Akira annoys me too, but she had to be in there.

Thank you to i-is-animefreak. I love your name! Yeah, by now even I want a happy ending. Hopefully this one suits you.

Thank you to those who favorited my stories: amutoluver1, .Spazz (I know someone just like your name, but without the violence), brazzette, and i-is-animefreak. And, fine, my unpleasant sister, .Fish., who, so generously, donated her time to send me a flame. While I'm at it, I might as well advertise. If anyone reads or watches Naruto, she has a really fun (or as she would say, 'real fun') story in progress that I'm co-authoring. Be sure to check it out.

And a big, large, super thank you to everyone reading this right now. You are all amazing!

P.S. The song is Dancing with Tears in My Eyes by Ke$ha, in case you didn't catch it in the description. But it's really a semi-songfic so don't complain and say that the song doesn't match the story.

~8~8~8~8~8~8~

Rima was sitting in a bathroom stall, tears pouring from her eyes. She was trying to forget all the feelings that assaulted her. The ache of losing her closest friend, the longing for a replacement, the insecurity of being someone she wasn't. And most of all, the betrayal of seeing Akira and Nagihiko dancing together. Akira, her best friend, and Nagi, her ex. The two opposites that were never supposed to meet.

When she had seen them, she had assumed that Nagi and Akira had always been hiding a relationship, but now she wasn't sure. It might have been a spur of the moment thing, just a temporary attraction or something impermanent, like drunkeness. Or one of Akira's new flings.

Rima walked out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror. She had straightened her hair and cut it in layers a while ago in an effort to fit in better. She wore so much make up that when she cried, her mascara-darkened tears made canyons and cliffs out of her foundation and blush. She still hadn't grown taller but made her elevated height seem natural by sacrificing her favorite Mary Janes in preference of tall stilettos.

She had done all this just because Kusukusu disappeared. Just because she had lost her best friend. She had lost her whole life when she was kidnapped, but that was unwillingly done to her by her parents. Now, when she'd had the choice, she'd dug the hole and tossed herself in. Nobody had done this to her. She had done it to herself.

Rima already knew that she was a physically weak person. In the back of her mind, she also knew that she was weak inside as well; she just didn't want to acknowledge that fact. Amu had lost her charas first. She had lost the four closest friends she ever could have had and she was still the same stubborn, wacky girl as she had been before. Rima was almost jealous of Amu for her strength. Amu could have part of her life taken away and still remain the same. Rima couldn't.

It wasn't just that she couldn't. It was also that she wouldn't. Rima hated change. Absolutely hated it. When she had to change schools, she hated it. She hated every change that affected her life with a fiery passion that was often difficult to control. The only change that she had almost welcomed was Kusukusu. Once she got used to the little chara, Rima loved her closer than a sister. So, now, when Kusukusu was gone, she just couldn't control her hatred.

She began her rampage, destroying everything that reminded her of her old life with Kusukusu. It was difficult; she'd had to say good-bye to some of her closest friends. But, she hadn't been able to say good-bye to one person.

Nagihiko. The one person who refused to stand by and watch her fall. It didn't help that they went to the same high school. She often wondered why he, who could definitely afford better, decided to settle on a less expensive school. She had tried to get him out of her life, but part of her didn't want him to leave.

But, now, with Nagi dancing with Akira, she definitely wanted him gone. No part of her mind or body denied that. The only disagreement was on how to get him out of her life for good.

She could take the direct approach and dance her heart out, and, in turn, make him jealous. Then, she'd have enough admirers to keep Nagihiko away.

Or, she could run. She was good at that, curling up in a ball, hiding from all her troubles, waiting for the storm to pass. She could switch schools, or, better yet, beg her parents to move to another city. Her parents often traveled to different cities for work, so she was sure that life would still be the same if they moved to another city altogether.

She chose the first option. Her old self would have run. The new person she wanted to be wouldn't let herself do anything the same, so Rima would stand and fight this one out.

She dragged her finger underneath her eyes to wipe away the gray tears and streaks that fell from her eyes. Rima took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to strengthen herself somehow, and strode wobbly out from the bathroom.

As she walked out onto the dance floor, the strobe lights and pounding music wrenched her back into the real world. While she was in the bathroom, she had felt like she were taking a break from life. For the first time in a long time, she had felt sort-of at peace, except for her conflicted emotions. Now, when she walked in the chaotic club, she was back in her torn-up, conflicted, fake reality.

Except this time, it didn't feel so real. Everything had a surreal quality to it and seemed to be from a different time or place. Rima was sure she hadn't had that much to drink, but seeing everything swim before her at an otherworldly pace made her less sure.

At least getting revenge on the one person she couldn't let go of would be easier when nothing seemed real.

Rima started walking toward the center of the dance floor, walking through all the bouncing people. When she reached the center of the half circle formed around the DJ, she let all her emotion channel through her dancing. All her pain and indecision, the loss and betrayal, all was let go. People started cheering and whistling, but she could barely hear them. Her thoughts fogged and everyone around her started to fade.

Then the tears came. All the pent up feelings that she refused to even acknowledge spilled out. Every single regret she'd ever had about rejecting her past life sprung into her mind. She was watching all her mistakes again, almost like she was reliving them. And it hurt. All the memories hurt so bad.

Just then, Nagihiko appeared in her mental montage. She saw herself laughing with him, making fun of him, crying on his shoulder. She realized how necessary he was to her existence. Every memory of being happy with him killed her. She knew in that second that she had to have Nagi in her life or she would die.

Already she was feeling his loss in the extreme. She instantly felt like she was dying. No. She felt like she had been dead from the first moment she had started pushing him away. Now, seeing him again, she felt so alone. But she also felt a small amount of relief. She was finally admitting how much she needed him.

Another revelation hit her. She had been the one to send Nagi away. She had made him break up with her. She had caused her own pain. In exchange for becoming another person, Nagi had broken up with her. It was almost fair, in a twisted sense.

Then Rima realized she was still dancing. How odd she must look to everyone watching her. Dancing with a ferocious zeal, but sobbing whole-heartedly. Her make-up must be ruined by now, but she didn't care. The time when she wore masks of make-up was already in the past. A past that she dearly wanted to forget.

She was struggling to face her past. The video was still going in her head, and the memories just kept getting worse. She could only watch as she sold her soul to the devil, and became a mindless zombie, content with being shallow and brainless. But every other clip was still of Nagihiko. Rima watched as she totally ignored the one person she had ever really loved, besides Kusukusu. And that hurt most of all.

If Nagihiko had wanted to hurt her by breaking up with her, he had accomplished his goal. He had made her pay for hurting him, and Rima was definitely feeling his pain. She could see her live through his eyes and it was terrible. All of her fake personality that she had created in hopes of filling the void left by Kusukusu was being thrown back in her face. Even the dancing was fake. She had just replaced comedy with it. Sure, she liked dancing a lot, but comedy was her passion. The dancing was just part of her new lifestyle. And now Rima realized that she didn't want that lifestyle.

She slowed down her dance as the club came back into her vision. Rima felt her legs give out, and she crumpled, tears still trickling down her cheeks. She would have crashed to the floor, and probably would have stayed there, if it weren't for the person who caught her. She could see the long dark hair hanging in front of her face, and would've started crying again except she couldn't produce anymore tears. So she just leaned back against Nagi, and allowed herself to be led away toward the door.

Neither said anything as they walked down the street, Nagi with his arm around Rima, supporting her. Rima only stopped once and that was to take off her stilettos and toss them in one of the trash cans behind the club. She didn't ask him where they were going, but she trusted Nagi.

They walked several blocks away from the club until they arrived at Nagi's mansion of a home. He led her inside, and guided her toward one of the guest rooms. He stopped at the door, and watched as she walked toward the queen-sized bed. He waited until she was comfortable under the bedding, before he walked toward her. She was so tired that she already appeared to be asleep. Nagi whispered, "Everything will be alright, Rima-koi*," and leaned over and kissed her forehead. Then, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Rima smiled after she was sure he was gone. For the first time in a long time, she knew everything was going to be alright.

~8~8~8~8~8~8~

So it is finished. I came, I saw, I conquered.

*= the –koi suffix is used when speaking to a boyfriend/girlfriend. I thought that it fit pretty well considering they are Japanese.

The last part fits for a completely different song, "Innocence" by Avril Lavigne. I was listening to it on repeat while I wrote that. I think it would make a pretty good Rimahiko songfic, if anyone wants to write it. Just let me know so I can read it when you're done. As for me, I think I'm done with Rimahiko songfics/semi-songfics for the foreseeable future, so anyone who wants it, it's all yours.

Yeah, while I was writing the part about every aspect of her old life being discarded, I totally forgot about Amu. When I went back to edit it, I just couldn't find a way to fix it and still have the same story. So, sorry for that error.

Well, it's been fun writing for you all. Now, I think I'm going to take a long nap. (I pulled an all-nighter for this one.)


End file.
